Hi Kim:
I also have CRPS, and went through a lot upon being diagnosed. I still go through a lot, but I don't take it out on my husband. During the early years with it, I did. After several blow ups and blow outs between him and me, we finally came to our place together and individually. So, I am not surprised your husband is struggling to accept this diagnosis and is reacting and reactive, BUT, in my opinion, you need to communicate with him, and you need to refuse to accept what is unacceptable. He has to change his way of coming to terms with his new life and situation, because it isn't going anywhere, and this isn't healthy for any of you. Therapists can possibly help the two of you talk this out, and help you separately to come to terms. I am sure you have lots of emotions going on, too, as a result of his diagnosis. For my husband and me, we were in therapy short term and then took it from there. We are very happy together now, but we really did go through some things as a result of this diagnosis....both of us. This is a traumatic diagnosis, and marriages, when severely traumatic things hit them, often struggle. Statistically, divorce rates are high for this and other types of issues, but they need not be.....Talk to each other.....work through your feelings, because I know we both had them.....him, too.....we both suffered loss.....and anger is the emotion above hurt....(the secondary emotion). Underneath, all your dreams feel shattered....and adjusting to the pain, for the patient, seems impossible....sometimes is....but we can't let these things that happen in our life define us....so, we have to get in touch with our emotions, accept them, and find a new way to be happy, joyous and free. My husband and I have a thing now....we avoid being negative...and we avoid negative people....the energy put into that is a choice, and it's toxic...and robs us of happiness. Find a new place together if you can....and start with defining for him what is unacceptable, in love...and see if he will go with you to a new state of being together.