Originally Posted by OhKay

I let myself be angry, but not for long before I have to distract myself and fill my mind with other thoughts. I guess what I'm saying is it's okay to be angry for a little while, but you have to be able to move on from it, or as you said, it will make you bitter and hard

I'm so sorry that your anxiety was so high, and Xanax made things that much worse, Blue (((HUGS)))
You obviously need something for anxiety, but Xanax isn't it. There are other anti-anxiety meds out there, like Klonopin, that you can take on an as needed basis. You should let your pdoc know about your experience, and ask for something else for emergencies. You should have something on-hand so you don't have to struggle with your anxiety

Most of the time, I only take 1mg of Klonopin in the morning now, when my anxiety is at its highest, but sometimes I need a lot more than that.
My experience with Xanax was when I was much more f'ed up, and I took it 3 times a day because I needed it... I probably needed more than that. It worked well and fast, especially if I was having an anxiety attack. It can be sedating, like the other benzo's tho. I took Klonopin before that, and at one point (when I was better), I asked to be put back on Klonopin because I felt like it worked longer. It works pretty well for me when I'm just dealing with anxiety.

Please contact your pdoc to ask for a different anti-anxiety med. Something will work for you