Hello my friends !!!

I have been very busy with my ultra awesome job scheduling interpreters all day in front of a computer so tired AND super depressed.... Anxiety has been controlled fortunately.... but gosh, I have been sooooooo down.... very sad.... I cry a lot, feel so lonely, so empty.... I miss my mom SO F word much, A LOT... I wish I had a family, my own family I mean.... And, that, makes me so sad....

I never was an envious (sp ?) person until now.... every day I feel more and more envy of the people with their moms.... beginning with my cousins.... why my mom and not theirs ? they are annoying, rude, zero empathic... but no, God and life decided it was my mom and me who had to be separated.... oh ok, Im mad,sad, etc.... Terrible. I consider myself a horrible person now. But, I Cant help it.... at the end, being a good girl has never given me good things eh ?

I feel like my life has no sense.,.. no purpose....