My mother died 22 years ago when she was 46, I was 17, and my poor little brother was only
9 years old.
You are not a horrible person. Your wounds from losing your mother are obviously still very fresh, and you need time to heal. You have a right to your feelings and shouldn't judge yourself for being jealous, etc
![Hug](images/smilies/hug.gif)
![Hug](images/smilies/hug.gif)
I'm so sorry that you are still so deeply depressed, but I'm happy to hear that your anxiety is under control (((HUGS)))
I know that sometimes finding our place in life takes time. But we all have a purpose, whether we realize it or not. I think that God has a plan for us all
![Hug](images/smilies/hug.gif)
![Hug](images/smilies/hug.gif)
I floundered for a long time after my mother died (which I don't think is uncommon or abnormal) until my CNA career fell into my lap, which led to me going back to nursing school in my mid-20's. I enjoyed what I did, and it gave me a palpable sense of purpose until MS put an end to all of that.
Is there something that you can think of that could make your life happier? A different type of job? A hobby or activity that you enjoy doing that you could do more, or get more involved in/pursue further? Or any other goal that you can think of that you can work towards?
Those are just ideas.
Thinking of you today, Blue (((HUGS)))