Sorry I keep thinking. I have a genuine strong interest in learning things. It's very hard for me to learn right now and is getting worse. Attribute this to the medications I take as well as possibly the new idea that there's a cognitive problem Maybe. But anyways I work to learn about everything I think about. So I am always on my phone accessing the internet to learn about whatever comes to mind. I can't stop doing this as it would drive me insane to not have answers to my questions. Even watching TV send me to my phone. To learn about the movie I'm watching. Or perhaps a character mentioned something that brings up a curiosity for me. And all of this leads me to further pain. One of the fundamentally most important and largest parts of myself - the Quest for knowledge - I can't follow without severe pain. All right I just wanted to put that out there I don't know why it said that I'm just really down right now and have found that talking on this site relieves some of that psychological pain.