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Old 05-07-2019, 07:20 PM
adelina adelina is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 170
10 yr Member
adelina adelina is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 170
10 yr Member
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Hi CRPS! You are wonderful. Thank you I can still feel your caring coming through in your messages and I really appreciate it thank you. I am so thrilled that you have experience being a guardian ad litem. I actually requested right when Court started originally that the girls have a legal representation for them. And in the beginning my girls would tell her about things and she would talk to my ex and he would completely discount what they said or say that they were lying. They became absolutely discouraged and hopeless and helpless in any representation. They gave up trying to fight a long long long time ago. Because the power their father has such power over them. Case in point. I had a wonderful weekend well Saturday to Sunday with my youngest daughter. She actually surprised me showing up Saturday morning hours before I was supposed to get her it was wonderful. As always the first day I have her she is really very very very very very very very active and instigates roughhousing. Which I try to encourage so much because that's what she seems to need it gives her an outlet for her built-up anxieties I think but I'm not a psychologist so I don't know I'm just going on with my mother's gut tells me. Her wrestling with her always causes severe pain but it's so worth it. She smiles and laughs and this time I asked her why she has to, well... Let me explain. she does things to instigate me and pushes and pushes and pushes. This is always been her personality from birth. But she pushes until I break down and spray her with the cat spray bottle. Laughing face emoji... okay so she always ends up soaking wet. But we both end up laughing hysterically the whole time. This time I asked her why does she insist on irritating me so much that I have to spray bottle her with water. She said because it makes you smile mom. OMG OMG OMG that was something so powerful. We also enjoy some online games and I had found a new one and shared it with her. I wanted to buy some advantages for this game and it was on account that's based off their father's credit card and will not allow any other purchases from other cards. So I told her I was going to buy something but give her cash to give to her father she was not thrilled with that because she was scared he would yell at her. I told her that it would be okay it's just a little purchase just a few dollars. So we made that small purchase for something around 6 to $8. Then I wanted to surprise her with a larger purchase or something very special that she wanted. It was not a lot of money it would require me to go without one or two things for a week or so but it was well worth it to get her to smile. When she saw it she turned white and started crying. I asked her what was wrong. She was absolutely terrified her father was going to yell at her. I said no don't worry I'm going to pay you I'm giving you cash to give to him over pay so that it will cover anyting. She was absolutely frantic and would not calm down saying that he would still be mad and yell at her. I told her okay I won't do it I'll call him first. She calms down after that but cuddled with me fiercely for the next couple of hours and I mean fiercely.! It was heartbreaking and enraged me and broke me it hurts so bad to see her this way. But it absolutely encouraged me to move on with my court case. I tried to get ahold of my ex to see if there was any chance that he would talk to me about it (not the yelling but just that I could make a purchase for her. He will not talk to me about anything regarding the girls at all anything whatsoever). Well I texted him a few times and he did not return my calls or texts about it at all. So that is an example of what I got to get my child away from. She desperately wants to live with me but both her and her older sister are terrified of their fathers repercussions in regards to it. He has their horses and pets they are terrified he will take them away from them and get rid of them. My middle daughter has a lot more of influence over my ex. But my youngest has none and he's always railed against her over exuberance and fighting attitude. She is a very difficult child for many many people because of her bossiness and outspokenness. She says exactly how she feels. She wears her heart on her shoulder. And she is a very Golden Child. She's very good and thinks of other people first. But she also does have quite a mouth. I love it all about her. But my ex has difficulties. So I want to work to save my children. My youngest will be 13 in July and my middle daughter is 16. My oldest daughter is 18 and my son 21. I of course will only seek custody for the youngest to as the others are too old to be part of it. Another problem I have with my ex is that he does not pay my health insurance on time. And when I try to talk to him about it he ignores me completely. I have to go without medications that I desperately need. I need to add that to my court issues. Well anyways I guess that's it. I have requested a new court representation for my daughters as my ex has obviously biased the attorney assigned to my daughters with lies that he has told many people. I can't blame her too much. At the time of Court originally I didn't have much fight left in me I was broken. But I just can't have this being done to my daughters. The other thing is that he teaches them that if somebody does something to them they do it back to another person. To that same person actually I mean. For example when my youngest daughter found out my middle daughter had knocked some clothes off of a bench. My ex told my youngest daughter to knock my middle Daughter's clothes to the ground. When someone 3 years older than my youngest daughter punched her very hard in the stomach my ex simply said well punch her back. He does not give her sympathy and love but she craves craves craves his attention. Which is right she should crave and need her father's attention. It's just so wrong that the only attention she gets is yelling. so I hope that I can get somewhere I have an appointment with a self-help law Center on the 28th and I will refile my papers to take him to court.
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