My heart just wants to give up
Not looking forward to an ablation
Fear of all the failed surgeries
Just to much to swallow
Having to decrease the flacainide that keeps my heart beating NAR the max 300mg causing side affects
Adema a no no to the heart
Thing is all that has go wrong with this heart is a direct result of stress
It all caught up and nothing seems to get it to beat in NSR
I have let go of my family
My youngest here home to help
My granddaughter fears what her parents are forcing her to do
She has no interest to be in their company
And they just don’t care what her feelings are about and how they got to where they are
She is eight
A mind of her own
Back a forth to court
Next date the 28
So looking forward to saying what I need to say
I trust nobody not the judge or council
As I am a child who knows what it’s like to be forced into something that I will never forget
A father who sexually abused me and my middle sister
A mother who knew and looked the other way
She forced us on him
He killed himself as I’m sure he knew I was ready to confront him
A mother who told us all we weren’t wanted
Beat up by him like I was a boy
My marriage all for the wrong reasons
Smart enough to get out young
Dedicated my life to my children who are nowhere to be found
Wouldn’t want them around me
Do not like who they are today
But I can look in the mirror and am good with what kind of mother I was to them
They still cannot see the sacrifices I made
That’s okay
The day will come
For now I have one more to raise
A honor student every marking period
Well rounded
Happy
Yet a mother who puts her man before her child
That was never something I did
In fact I wish I let myself be loved
There were a few who were worthy
But put my children first
So sad to have gotten this far in life and my body failing me
I keep Heavenly Father close as I can
Eva loves to pray with me
She too prays for a miracle
That her Mimma be healed
A loving child
And I fell in love with her and will always fight for her happiness
Lots going on
One day at a time
Me
To add
Nursing sister fresh full right knee replacement
Left to be done next