I'm so glad that you had such a nice birthday out with Alice!

You are not a failure! I am so sorry that you are feeling that way right now
You did so much for the children in your neighborhood when you were young, and the children you worked with as a therapist. And you are such a good friend to so many people, especially Suri. People who give so much to others are not failures, they are blessings (((HUGS)))

I took Rexulti for a while to break an episode of depression. It worked very quickly for me, but I was on it for a couple of months, and I had zero side effects, including no weight gain, but that's me...

If I remember correctly, you have already tried Rexulti, prescribed by your old pdoc because it worked so well for me, but it did NOT work for you. I don't remember you having any side effects either tho.
So, that is a failed drug trial, so you should not bother taking it, no matter what the side effects are. You can tell your pdoc that you forgot you had already tried the med and it didn't work. But I'm kinda surprised that your old pdoc prescribed it for you given the side effects because he was always so cautious, but he may have realized that the risk of some of the more serious side effects are low, and they are.

In a brief, but not complete summary: Weight gain is common- up to 30% of patients, and 10% actually reported weight loss in clinical trials. It can also cause a host of common GI issues and increase anxiety, which have been big problems for you lately. It can also raise blood sugars and cholesterol, as I think you or someone else has already mentioned, but those side effects tend to be dose-dependent.
There have been an "unknown frequency" of cerebrovascular incidents such as stroke, which means the incidents are likely rare, and possibly not related to the medication. Sometimes patients have medical problems during the course of clinical trials that aren't related to the medications, but still have to be reported.

I definitely don't think it's the best med for you to be taking. But, like I said, I'm pretty f'ing sure you've taken it before anyway, and it didn't work, so there's no reason to take it again. I'm surprised you don't remember taking it before.