Constipation is infrequent, hard to pass, or hard stool.
When I wrote my last post, I was having bits of D that were hard to pass.

Bizi, to answer your question about if I can feel if I'm constipated, I can- easily. The large intestines kinda hold everything in. When they're removed, the small intestines hang rather loosely, and I don't have much abdominal fat, so I can feel where everything is by gently pressing on my abdomen. I could feel a mass like a mini football in my lower left quadrant. It has happened on and off in that place since I had the surgery.

Monday was terrible. I had tons of diarrhea early in the morning, which is fine. Let's get rid of everything... But then I had 9 HOURS of just terrible unrelenting S*** pains and a strong urgency to use the BR without any results. I have no idea how many times I sat on the toilet. Then I went through a couple of hours of that again yesterday.

That mass in my abdomen is gone, which is a very good thing
But I'm not taking the Mirilax for a few days in case it could be contributing to the symptoms I've been having. I have to go out to get grocery shopping done today, and have morning appointments tomorrow and Friday. I hope that I'm making the right decision. I will obviously be keeping a close eye on things.

I've been having pain on my mid-to-lower right side by where the obstruction was since I woke up this morning. So, now I'm going to have to worry about THAT. And I was still having the other issues this morning so I'll be going out to do the shopping late today.

My friend sent me an email, which I replied to. In her reply, she let me know that she had sent 3 emails before that I had never responded to. I NEVER GOT THEM, though I would have been VERY happy to have had, and don't know why. The only reason I can think of is that I may have put an email from that chain in the spam folder instead of the trash by accident, but IDK. Since it was 3 emails, she doesn't believe me. I sent her an email to kinda defend myself and say I was sorry that I never received them and that had worried her. I feel really miserable about the whole situation, but that's about all the energy I can manage to put into the matter. I hope that my word is good enough.

I'm just very overwhelmed....

I do not feel well at all, and it worries me A LOT. And I've been stuck at home because I've been glued to the toilet.
I have a colposcopy tomorrow morning because of the abnormal Pap smear.
And I have an appointment with the hematologist/oncologist on Friday because of the funky results from the biopsy of my lymph node.
All those things I need to do, but have not been able to, are just piling up, making me feel pressured to get them done.

I'm still not 100% on the mental health front, and none of this s*** is helping. I'm doing my best and hanging in there tho.