Annnnnnnnnnnd Im so down.... Im so done with my job, with my family, with my life....

Do you know how I feel ? I feel like Im a "joker", a "wildcard".... like, my co workers, my family members, my "friends" may enjoy my company, some of my comments, BUT, if Im not present, that is ok too, probably even better.... and that hurts me deeply...

I see all those guys, smiling to girls.... I have never been in love.... no one ever has picked me to be "the special" one you know....

I see old those ladies, around 55 years old, walking with their moms and children.... Im 36 and my mom is already dead.

I see all those kids in the streets.... I will probably never have kids as I cant even find a partner !!!



Im disgusting.... condemned to be lonely and ignored for the rest of my life.

Im suicidal. DO NOT WORRY. I would never do it because.... what is I have to live all this again as punishment ? Im not gonna do anything but yeah.... Im so done.

I think about you often and your simple existence makes me wanna cry of nostalgia.

Majo