Originally Posted by OhKay

"Do you know how I feel ? I feel like Im a "joker", a "wildcard".... like, my co workers, my family members, my "friends" may enjoy my company, some of my comments, BUT, if Im not present, that is ok too, probably even better.... and that hurts me deeply..."

I hear what you are saying, and I can definitely relate. I think that you have more contact with other people than I do though. I have been through a lot, a lot recently, and I feel like my family has abandoned me. I am deeply hurt as well. I have to initiate contact with them, and it always seems generic.

I have had a lot of side effects with medications. I haven't had hallucinations (associated with meds but I have when I've been manic), but I know that they can be a side effect of some, and that must be scary (((HUGS)))
That would make me hesitant to try new meds, but it sounds like the Prozac isn't working well enough for you, and you need better med management. I can understand why you don't want to make a change tho

You are grieving for your mother, but it sounds like you are also dissatisfied with other aspects of your life as well, and I think that things are coming to a head, and that's probably where all this anger is coming from (((HUGS)))
You need a healthier outlet for your anger. IDK if it's possible for you to workout. I know that's what some people do for that reason. Maybe others on the forum can chime in with other ideas...

I wish things were better for you... I hope that things start getting better soon