last night was okay. The fan helped too. I am so anxious about the colonoscopy.
I am totally shot. I am waiting for the antidepressant to work. I think I got chilled in the community room yesterday. I don't even know if I am angry anymore. I have to start praying to God and thank Him for everything even the lack of air conditioning. One of my friends was never nurtured and her husband isn't demonstrative emotionally. She is the one with breast cancer. I told her that she had to start thinking all the time that God was nurturing her.
I feel so isolated but feel so rotten I want to be alone. I am screwing up with my medication. Yesterday Stella asked if I wanted to go out for coffee but I said I felt too rotten. Cecilia didn't call and invite me over. I wouldn't have gone anyways. I didn't take anything last night for the constipation. I will see if coffee does anything.
I am reading another book I like but having a hard time reading. I think Abby threw up. I think Pudge found a place in the apartment on the floor and I think it is cooler there.