I think you should try to find a CBT therapist who can help you redirect your mind when you get these anxious feelings of "What is happening?" and worse.

You appear paralyzed by your own anxiety.

CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Retrain your mind to respond properly.

I've been through the tough times but I could always function to a good level by working in short shifts then changing to a second task then back to the first.

Taking extended time away tends to reinforce the anxieties because your mind does not have productive things to consider.

Are you using any nutrition to help your brain better tolerate stress? The vitamins sticky has a regimen that has worked great for me. B-12, B-6 folic acid, D-3, Omega 3 fish oil.....