I am reprinting this from another forum that I originally posted it to. It helps explain why I asked for this forum.

We were the happy companions for 18 years to a force of nature that received the name of Midnight from my MIL but we called him CATZILLA, a black ball of energy, temperament, and love. We lost him last year and still miss him to this day, though his spirit is still with us.

"Midnight "Catzilla" K----- passed away today at 2pm our time. He has been going downhill for the last week or so. He was at the end of his eighteenth year on this earth and up until the last day was enjoying all that he could con out of us. He spent his last few days in the recliner being pampered and petted and cared for. He will be buried in the country under a weeping willow right next to some bird feeders.

How do you say goodbye to a devoted companion that you've lived with for the last 18 years. I've had many cats over the years and all were lovable but he was one of two tied for personality, brains, and that indefinable "feline" trait that makes one understand how they could have been worshiped at one time. I've never had a cat who enjoyed "play" so much. He turned this apartment and us into his personal playground. Sometimes he would just run from one end to the other, stopping to see if we were noticing how much fun he was having...he'd even jump on hubby's bed so hubby could see the joy sparkling in his eyes. We'd acknowledge him and off he would go running again and again. He used the tub as a slide, the clothes rack as a jungle gym, the recliner as a tree, the gerbils in their cages like interactive TV, the aides and neighbors as playmates and often sparring partners. He'd hide in dark corners to leap out at the night attendants,(how he learned to swear I think)... eat rice krispies and spaghetti off hubbies hand...the only time he would eat these...as if saying "Daddy" added the special flavor and I swear he knew that he was doing something unusual "just for Daddy". After hubby could no longer eat he'd make it a point to get up on the bed at least once a day for treats from Daddy's hand. He's nuzzle him by putting his head in hubby's armpit and then lift his head and his eyes would be crossed and he's be drooling...we's laugh and go "oooo pit juice" and he'd react by doing it again, but I think the joke was on us. I'd scold him for teasing the gerbils and he's go trotting down the hall in a huff and cursing me out the whole way. The day "our" best friend died he walked through the house crying and up till a couple of months ago would go to her door even though the apartment had had a couple of new tenants since she died...including a dog. He never forgot her. I hope that they are romping in heaven tonight...reunited, young and frisky. Him chasing the feathers from angels wings, Betty laughing till her sides hurt.

I haven't been able to cry yet...at the end he was getting as much care as DH...I even had to make "kitty underpads" for him since he couldn't get to the box anymore. He also was so weak he couldn't turn himself so he was on an eggcrate and I turned him every two to three hours 24/7. Had to wash him when he soiled and "clean his chinny-chin-chin" after spoon feeding him every two to three hours. I've been very tired but I wanted to tell my friends about our loss and sorrow. Hug your own a little more tonite...give them an extra treat...they are never with us long enough.

I know some of you are asking why we didn't have him put down. Well, first of all he wasn't suffering. He seemed quite content until last night when he stopped eating. He was getting the same care that Daddy got...maybe he though it was his due, or the way it was supposed to be? He wasn't in pain...just very old. I was hoping that he would just go in his sleep...happy and loved at home. We did contact some vets but the price was either way out of our reach (top quote $135.00) or they would not take us because we were not clients of theirs. The only one that would consider it could not take him till tomorrow evening...she would "put him in a holding cage till then" NOT BLOODY LIKELY. He deserved better and I knew he wouldn't last that long..I didn't want his last hours spent alone, abandoned and scared in what to him would have appeared a madhouse. He had a heart attack and was gone in about a half hour, although I don't think he was aware of his surroundings for the last 15 minutes or so. "

I was taught growing up that there was no heaven for our animals, they just ceased to be, but I could never believe that. God gives us each other and our pets. It is what makes life bearable during the worst and makes life a joy the rest of the time.