I now feel demoralized, I'm ruminating.

This neighbor asked me again to accompany her to the drug store to pick up more medication for the sick neighbor, and yet she won't let me near the sick neighbor. I declined the invitation. This is confusing to my BP mind.

She told me initially she was going to check on the sick neighbor at 10AM and I sat in the hallway waiting for my neighbor to go with her and she came out from the sick neighbors room and reported to me. I asked for my medical supplies back. She said she was going down again to the sick neighbors apt at 1:00. I waited in the hallway and out pops the neighbor from the sick neighbors room without my medical supplies and does a report on her and felt it was not necessary for me to go in to check on her. I asked for my medical supplies again and she stared at me looking confused.

She said she is going to visit the sick neighbor at 3:00 today. I have closed my door and will not respond to her anymore. They are on their own. I feel soo offended at this point. I don't understand why she tells me when she goes to check and yet won't let me in to see the sick neighbor. The sick neighbor is the one who's cat I took care of for two weeks, along with this neighbor that is baring me from going in. I took care of both of their cats for two weeks, without pay or a thank you.

Trying not to feel demoralized today, but I honestly do. Every time I reach out and help, I get kicked in the teeth and I don't get it.

It's soo hard to make new friends at age 68. I feel lonely and sad today.

Blue