I see that we are both close in age, thank you for sharing this and your wisdom with me as well. This is all very helpful, seeking a higher power, I keep forgetting about this aspect of life.

Yes, having kitty's can be soo helpful, they are full of unconditional love which I find missing in humans. All but my kitty who has this neurological syndrome and he barely will let me touch him. I will have to make decisions about him soon, which is very sad to think about. His condition keeps me very sad and depressed most days. The neighbors here think I am terrible for thinking about euthanasia, same with my vet who keeps encouraging me to spend more money.

I am unable to read much due to Nystagmous of my eyes (they won't stay long on a single written line before they jerk to the Meniere's ear. I do listen to book tapes and belong to a book club that meets once a month, which is fun.

Have recently been listening to a music channel on my Kindle Fire and I play mouse games with my cat and he loves watching the mice race across the pages, lol.

I understand about sleep. My energy always goes way up in the evenings and I become hyperventilate due to childhood trauma. So, sleep usually evades me and I defeat all sleep medicines too. I have been awoken alot lately to what looks like a flashlight shinning in my bedroom window. I live on the ground floor, but have blackout curtains. I just have not figured out if this is a constant dream or really happening. Living in this gated community prevents anyone from walking by my window, so it would have to come from a window across from me.

You are fortunate in that you understand your limitations with BiPolar. Being new to the game I am learning that I need to find an etiquette class on how to be BiPolar socially. Of course there is really no etiquette class, just the school of hard knocks. Unfortunately I cannot un-ring the bell once I have chased people out of my life. It happens suddenly which makes it even more apparent and hurtful.

I know these neighbors aren't worth one second of my time. However, it's the residue of hurt feelings that I am trying to manage now. I no longer will do anything social with them again, just managing hurt feelings right now in this moment is tough. I hurt all over. I'm done with the sororities here, finished.

I'll be polite but not engage anyone in conversation ever again here. I have to figure out a way to protect myself.

Blue