I'm sorry that you are feeling so depressed and sad this morning, Blue (((HUGS)))

I think that you have just empowered and released yourself from direct misery though. Some personality types will take advantage of good/kind people. Don't let them draw you back in.

12.5mg is a small dose of Lamictal, and you have just recently started it. I know that meds work differently for you, but it will take some time before you see significant results

Until you can find outside interests, I think that your knitting could be therapeutic.