[QUOTE=OhKay;1277780]Bobby,
Smoking cigarettes and drinking are both STRONG addictions to be sure!!!

But drinking large amounts of alcohol can be very mind altering. Many people with mental illness drink to self-medicate, and over time, it becomes harder and harder to stop. It is insidious tho. I know that I would drink to feel happier/more euphoric, and more comfortable socially, but I would also drink at other times to drown my problems in alcohol. Drinking would trigger and fuel episodes, and the bad decisions I was making during hypo/mania only got worse...

Over time, I just totally lost control. If I kept drinking, I know I would not be here. Sometimes I do miss it, but that's rare. I drank lots of things, but mostly beer. Occasionally, I will drink an O'Douls.

My father was an alcoholic and self medicated with it. I am sure he had bipolar II because except when he was drinking he was always depressed. I asked him many years later why he drank and he said it made him happy. He also smoked a lot. I have my father's chemistry and drinking makes me happy and high. Occasionally I drink a bottle of wine or have scotch. His drinking destroyed my childhood because I was the caretaker. I hate being out of control so I would rather suffer. When I smoked (I started when I was 11) I felt I was in control except out of control with my smoking. As I wrote I didn't care if I wound up with lung cancer. It really helped my anxiety.
I am so glad you gave up drinking. I wish you could give up smoking! but unlike me I guess You can financially afford it. Unlike your rarely missing drinking I still miss smoking so much and know it would make me feel so much better.
Love
bobby