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Originally Posted by guitardude
Very happy for you! Weird to think I'm getting close to a year out. Certain symptoms still bug me, and not feeling quite 100% on the cognitive side. Some days at work I feel pretty out of it which can be depressing, but at the same time I'm less often feeling the dreadful self loathing that pretty much always accompanied it more early on, in which I felt like I was practically brain dead. This shift is giving me hope, that some day I'll move on from the depersonalized surreal fogginess into feeling more present.
I recently completed a 4 day backpacking trip with 36 miles of hiking- was very apprehensive leading into it but the walking with resistance overall felt so good, and it only seemed to clear up my brain if anything. Curious, how did you go about addressing the mental health aspect?
Trying to keep my dream (of moving to NYC and playing music professionally) alive. Who's to say where I could be a year from now!
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hi guitardude!
I'm well aware that every brain is different so hearing others' experiences with overcoming certain symptoms can do nothing but provide reassurance that it is possible- but, as we all know, that certainly isn't nothing! While I am closing in on my recovery at 5 months (still some sleep issues to sort out), it is certainly possible to overcome this even after a year. I just wanted to outline my recovery trajectory to give you some reassurance.
I understand the frustration that comes with not feeling connected/totally 'with it'. For months, it made me angry, confused, and even suicidal at times. I felt as if I was losing connection with myself and the things I held dearest. I had it really, really bad. I'm so glad you're not in such a dark place anymore, as I know how awful of a place it is to be in. My feelings of derealization/fogginess slowly tapered out over the course of a few months, but not always in a linear fashion or a predictable pattern. Sometimes, it would take me weeks/months to see even minuscule improvements, while other times (and I know it sounds kukoo-kachoo!), I would blink and my world would be that much clearer. The last month I have seen rapid improvement, which comes to show that even though recovery has been slow up until this point, there is always the possibility of healing speeding up. I think the most frustrating aspect of this whole business is the unknown nature of it. There are so many things that can go eschew when you hit your head, and it can be so incredible overwhelming. But know that it can get better, and quite frankly, will most likely just become a bad memory! i grew a lot as a person through this, and you will too.
I guess the point I want to make in short is expecting a recovery trajectory will only set you up for disappointment. Know that you are healing, whether the effects of that healing are palpable or not. Just wanted to share a positive story, just in case you needed it.
(Oh! Also. I saw a behavioral optometrist who saw no problems with my vision, which eased my anxiety by tenfold. It's a good idea to go get checked out, if only to assuage some anxiety. And if they do find anything, I have heard many people's fogginess improve after vision therapy!)