Marci didn't offer to pay for the essential oil I ordered.I told her I was going to run out of money. Then she was one of the new toys I got for Danny. They don't cost much money, under 5 dollars and she said she would love to have something like that on her bed.I have really spoiled her. I knew she was asking for it but I didn't comment rather saying something nasty like you should buy one yourself. Right now I am just so angry I will say things I will regret. She doesn't know anything is wrong. In the morning she had "in service" and part of the talk was on bipolar. She said that was Bobby. They talked about overspending. She really knows. I will probably tell her on Monday that since I have given her so much those will be her xmas presents.
Today hopefully I will not buy anything except maybe chinese food.I wsould up buying another essential oil that is good for anger I am not getting on the scale. I am so scared about money. I am so scared about being alone.I am so scared of my anger... I have to write something to Zeynep. I feel so fragile.
Love
bobby