I am trying to get a therapist who will come to the apartment. I can't afford more expensive cab fare. It would be great to have someone to vent to. I set myself up a lot and then store the anger. For instance I asked a couple of weeks ago if Cecilia wanted me to take her out for her birthday. She didn't reply! Last year she told me she was taking me out for my birthday and then didn't. That got me angry and I felt hurt also. So what do I do about her birthday now?
Should I forget it or ask her again? Now I have spoiled Marci. A lot of times I don't like the tone she uses on me. I am still storing my anger about her asking to give her some essential oil and putting it in a bottle. and then hinting that she wanted the stuffed dog I bought for Rober's dog. On that one I didn't even comment and I told her even though I have a lot of essentials now I use them a lot and broke down and bought her a bottle.She hinted at the MCT oil/ i hardly responded. I had just bought her two tunics and gave her two new ones I didn't like and one didn't fit. Now I probably will just give shoes to the good will and keep everything else.I don't want to start something else with Marci-we are the same size. I also get angry at myself. I always have had trouble asserting myself. I tend to be a listener. I was a very good child psychologist and could remember everything. Even now with Zeynep whom I hadn't seen for 24 years, I still remember everything she told me.
I am so angry at myself now for over spending and not having the motivation to start walking in the halls again and riding the bike and not pigging out. I am angry at my eyesight. Lately I have trouble seeing up close and I keep on losing my glasses to help me read.
I love my cats though-they are so wonderful and I woke up without a hangover. That is luck
love
bobby
right now i am not suffering.
i think i will email cecilia and ask er again if i can take her out for her birthday.

Bipolar II: Anger, Angst & Understanding