Thanks Mark, I knowmyou are right but Im not giving in yet to thr "new me". Its been 2 1/2 yrs and struggling good days and diffucult weeks.

Sometimes I think i might be getting early dementia but im assured Im not but its still scary. Early retiremnt is looking closer but im afraid of not challenging my brain and drifting away.

Appreciate all your comments, this really is a lonely companion to have. I have to fake im fine or make hokes about not feeling fine.

Warm wishes for a fabulous new year for everyone

S