Hi all

Well, I am one more cursed had with this beast of an illness. I've been greedy, because when I was a child, it started by a few sensitive fingers. Then, in my 20s, it started to be painful.

Now, I am 37, they diagnosed me peripherial poly-neuropathy when I was 34. Even since then, it grew up a lot. Now, I have it all ten fingers, and ten toes.

This last six months, I also have massive pain in the sides of the hands, and the palms, and very lately, some bothering on the sole of both feet (and it keeps on going.)

I am not diabetic, nor I suffered Cancer, etc. Out of the many surgeries in my eyes I had as a child, and all the MRI's probable screwed me over.

- When does it stop growing? Can it go to bigger nerves affecting main organs? I am not afraid of death, but leaving my wife alone, etc. This illness seems to be growing non-stop. Now, I have sessions of four-five hours a day of being in a lot of pain, maybe dozens of pains, burning sensations, needles, cuts with super warn knifes, hyper-sensitivity, the hell we all know, but firing in all four extremities, as if there was no tomorrow.

For now, I use Tramador, the smallest box, and then liquid tramadol, and I plan with both of them (pretty much now is having little pain if lucky on Friday Night or Saturday night, that I take a bit more of a dose.

I also smoke cannabis (vaped it, edibles, etc), but my tolerance ended up making this also not very effective.

I managed to avoid the pain clinic for three years, I know how awful opiod based medications are, and hate to take them. However, it comes to a point that my mind is asking me to give up, and go to the pain clinic to ask for a more potent, and harmful medication.

I am very strong willed, but maybe I am overdoing it. Maybe since Tramadol is the first step, there are more before the bigger Morfine, Fentanill, etc

Thanks