First, Gee, I'm going to answer your question about the letter you wrote him.
Personally I'd just give it to him like is. It's just how you feel right now. And what you would like to happen. And whether he likes it or not really then it's in his ball park.

Next when it comes to telling him your doctor would like to see you both.
I'd personally say: husband, his name instead, my doctor wants you and I to both come to my next appointment because he/she feels it would be better for me. I'd make it look like he is helping you.

I'm going to try answering other questions next post