I am so sorry but you your husband reading between the lines sounds like a monster. We are really fragile and need to be in a supportive environment not a cruel one. Maybe your husband is scared to death of the virus and his worse qualities are coming out. I can't tell you to be strong. I can tell you to start repeating to yourself you are a very special articulate woman and do self nurturing. Whatever you do STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP.
growing up I was told I didn't speak right ,walk right or stand right. Because of all the criticism from my parents I did slump and my psychiatrist said that they made my bipolar so much worse. I turned out so self critical. I could only acknowledge that that I excelled in racket sports and taking care of children. I remember one high school Latin teacher tell me she couldn't give me a high mark because I was nervous.
You have got to start focussing on all your positives and start differentiating who really seems to have the big problems. Don't take them on yourself.
start being gentle to yourself! We care so much about you/ You are so special.
fondly
bobby