Dear GeeLuv, It sure seems like one of those deals where you can't win, no matter what. I think you did the right thing, not biting the bate, so to speak. Also, maybe his sister is a neat freak because she is nervous, or because she feels she has to be perfect all the time. Is one of their parents critical like your hubby is? Anyway, I guess you'll have to depend on your intuition in these situations. I'm wishing you good things dear friend!