my bipolar is really out of control. I have been panicking so much. Often I am terrified. robert was supposed to come over yesterday and I wrote him a note seeing if he was okay. He hasn't answered me so of course I think he caught the virus and is in the hospital or he had a heart attack. I always think the worse and since the virus it has gotten so much worse. I feel so old and helpless
I hope on Thursday when I speak to the doctor he can give me something for my panic attacks. I think I will call Robert at nine to see if i can reach him and see that he is okay. i am tormented.
yesterday marci was worth a trillion dollars. she found i had a big problem i didn't know about and she fixed it.. she also found the charger to my phone and to my kindles. i spent 15 minutes looking for them. i got three washable pretty masks. i don't know what i did with them but i am going to give her one.
last friday aaron my volunteer didn't call and i got so sad. i thought he found me too boring. i haven't told him i am bipolar. yesterday he called and profusely apologized. it was his second anniversary on friday. his wife is russian and is in russia and hasn't gotten her visa yet. he called me even though our dates are on wednesday and friday to explain what happened and that he would call me on wednesday and friday..he is so interesting, incredibly bright and unusual. he mentioned a book that sounded interesting so i ordered it.
today i am going to force myself to go to the bank with marci. i am so terrified of going out. it is so sick. i have only been out once.
bobby
i started overspending again.