Dear Joan.

Thanks!!! The problem is that people just don't understand. They listen but they don't hear me because they don't WANT to hear me because they might hear something that they don't want to hear from me. They are scared I'll say something bad or that I might upset their sensibilities or that they will have to admit that things change and that people get worse.

My friends at uni are good and some of my carers are brilliant. It's just that when my mum was 3 her dad developed TB of the spine and was unable to move for 3 years, then a couple of years later her mother broke her spine and was bed bound for nearlly ten and then in a wheelchair before finally managing crutches. My mum cared for granny for years before marrying and having me and my sister. In December my grandmother died of lung cancer and mum had nursed her through the last 10 years, and especially the last year of her life. Now she is doing it with me - I'm not dying, but she is nursing me. At Christmas she had two hoist dependent wheelchair users in the living room in the house and was trying to dress, feed, turn and sort us both out every day. (was funny though with her feeding me and then turning to granny and feeding her.. in an odd way!).

Well.. it's 10. 40pm and my sister works at the local nursing home - and as a special treat I am going to steal their hoist and have a bath... aren't I lucky??! so see you all when I get back!!!

Love ya tons and thankyou all!!

Froggsy xxxxxxxxxxx