I am in mental pain and so very scared.
the bruises are still there but they are fainter. at least that is what Marci says since they are on my back, especially my lower back.
I am so out of control. When I talk to people they don't know what is going on in my head. I appear normal and appropriate. Inside there is so very turmoil and fear.. I don't walk that much because it still hurts at times. Right now I am dreading going down to the mailroom to see if the rent check is there. I don't know if I will hurt or not. The cane or walker definitely helps. I had trouble walking after I had the stroke. I seem to have all these little expenses that add up. Like I had to pay Chase 8 dollars to have Marci cash the check since I needed money. I have to constantly tip the workmen in the building to bring up food deliveries etc. I can't carry much weight. I have been buying stuff to try to help the pain.
Now my stomach is beginning to act up again. I am overeating.
love
bobby just terrified.