I don't blame you for not wanting to deal with medication side effects. I went through the ringer with it, too. Difficult to handle, especially if you have a job that is at all intellectually challenging. I did find that increasing the dose super slowly made a world of difference, though. So if you ever want to give the preventatives a try again, know that's an option.

My first headache doc had me going up on Nortriptyline at 25mg increments (I'm a pretty lean female), and I thought I was dying. My second doctor prescribed me a liquid version, which you can create infinitely small doses out of, and I went up 5mg at a time...WAY better. Still didn't end up helping in the end, but I was able to give the med a fair trial without feeling like I was going to die of side effects.

Topomax comes in 15mg sprinkle capsules, so you can increase by 15mg increments if you like, which I found mostly tolerable, and the side effects mostly subsided after about a month of not changing the dose anymore. Different for everyone, but generally going slower helps for sure!