Hi Idealist,
I understand where you are coming from completely. I have severe depression which is constantly reluctant to medication or therapy. I also have that terrifying feeling sometimes of being literally "out of it." It feels almost like I am stuck inside my head. Thankfully, after spending time in a rehabilitation clinic for the depression, I switched doctors around, and finally one was able to help me get some relief. I cannot rely completely on my medications completely though.

My number one coping strategy throughout the years has been to find something to look forward to. I found out this about two years ago after I forgot a few doses of my anti-depressants (not a very smart thing to do either) while on vacation in my favorite place. I was fine without them though; almost the best I had been since my depression set in! I look forward to going there every year because it is the happiest place I can go to. Everything is peaceful and serene there, but I can do all my favorite hobbies and sports activities easily at my own leisure too. The people there are laid back and love to talk. It is rich in history, and the best part of all is that there are many wild animals who are friendly with their human observers.

I also made a life-changing decision and bought a furry friend for myself. He makes me so happy when I see his cute little face everyday. He even licks my tears when I cry. He lights up my world, and I feel good knowing that he relies on me like I rely on him.