Before I respond to that, I just want to say I've been feeling pretty down and out today. I mean, like really down. Can't think of the best description. But feeling very sad about losing connection with people due to circumstances out of my control. And I NEED that connection. ...

Um, well yea and so just sleeping the day away, not because I'm tired, but because I just feel so whatever the word is. (Depressed basically)

And it's moments like these on and off over the past few weeks, (plus the anxiety/?paranoia?) that bring me back to questioning bipolar2 diagnosis again...when last week, I was hung up on ADHD.




Now, to answer the questions
A therapist in like 2017 was convinced I had ADHD.

I was tested for various things by another office (therapies and maybe psychologists. It's really confusing tbh, but I assumed it was legit). My results showed traits of of different things, and "unspecified bipolar". Nothing about ADHD, if I recall. By the time I was tested, it was already 2018 or so. I tried a bit of DBT, but that failed me. And the Phycologist failed me. The bipolar meds only made me fat and in a constant low mood, the NP from the same office gave me Intuniv for the "ADHD" (b4 I was tested), and that failed miserably. (It made me feel really sick. Like agitated, skin crawling, sleeplessness, and I forget what other unpleasantries). I was convinced that wasn't the solution, that nothing of meds were working. And I got off all meds but the antidepressant/antianxiety and was actually pulled out of therapies.

So now it's just my General Practitioner. I haven't seen him now though since like last summer and things have been occurring on and off thru last year and then now this year, mostly this depressiveness. Since nothing lasted too long, and I really didn't want to go on meds that make me fat, I rode it out. Then last week I wanted to try ADHD meds again...but Covid, so I want to wait.

Now I just feel depressed by it all. About life. About feeling disconnected from the things and people that make me happy. So...not sure to what degree meds will help with that tho. 🤷*♀️