Yeah, i agree with Bizi. I never even heard of this "last one" concept. Just my two cents though. <3

Dentist was ok. I thought I'd have less stains, because i thought i saw less, but the hygienist made a big deal of it, not in a demeaning way, but she did the stain removal first before scraping. And well, this is really embarrassing (but its one of those physical things, maybe?), she recommended/gave me a tongue scraper. She didn't say it, but of course H did. I was like, was she hinting i have bad breath? And he was like "yes".

Gets descriptive here, fair warning!

I am completely depressed by this. One of my nightmares. But its not just that. I seemed to have this like earring hole infection thing (i really don't know what it is) that keeps alternating drying out with getting inflammed and like leaking fluids. In either state it can lead to this bad odor. It really bothers H. That and my breath. I feel so undesirable, and yet, i cant help but think maybe its my body's way of telling me or him that i am turned off by him? Like, his negative comments (not just the truthful ones like these, but the bullcrap ones too) just literally make me sick? ...

This really sucks! I ...i cant imagine life better without him, because life was its own different hell before him, but this ...this really sucks! I took a moment when it was a sunny day and he left for an errand, to just sit in the sun, absorb the feel goods and also cry. I can't even cry in front of him without some crappy comment about it being some thing i happen to enjoy causing me grief. I mean, how could HE possibly be any reason for my grief?! 🤦*♀️ I need him to go back to work so i can cry again. Just getting it out helps me deal better. But i dont know. I mean, ...yea i worry about our future when he retires. I dont know how I'll handle this. 😢