Hi, Kim90, and WELCOME!

I have MS and don't drink but there have been many drinkers in my family, including some problem drinkers. A cousin died of alcohol-related liver cirrhosis. A nephew died of a combination of heroin plus alcohol. My sister, who always drank vodka, died at 73 and had esophageal cancer, which is a terrible way to go. That type of cancer is common among vodka drinkers, very tragically.

There are many severe neurological problems caused by alcoholism. You could try cutting out the vodka for a while and see how you're doing--you might see an improvement in your symptoms.

I've known people who haven't liked the idea of AA but eventually went there and found it helpful. You might want to give them a call, maybe go to one of their meetings, if you think you might be an alcoholic.

I had a close relative who hated AA's near-religious tone but she was desperate enough about the memory lapses she was having to seek them out, and she was active in AA for quite a number of years. Most people stay in it for life because you don't stop being an alcoholic, or so they say.

I knew some of her AA friends, and they were interesting people. Some had been at the skid-row stage, being hauled in to be dried out, etc., but had stayed sober for 35 years or so. It can be done.

If AA sounds too serious for you at your young age, you could try their branch called AlAnon--for persons affected by alcoholism in their family.

And by all means visit this board. Online friends can be helpful here.