Hi tomhe and Ironman, Welcome to the NeuroTalk Support Groups.
I see you've been given great advice from the others. I have a cancer treatment neuropathy (it was not Chemotherapy) so my path has been a little different from a lot of other people here. My first symptoms came on extremely fast and furiously and rendered me incapacitated regarding usual daily activities almost overnight.
Fortunately after coming off that toxic treatment and onto something different, I started to improve very slowly and the pain and other symptoms have retreated from knee level in both legs to now just my feet and ankles. The pain has diminished enormously but is still there and there is a lot of numbness.
tomhe,
Were you on the Gabapentin and the Amitriptyline for very long? I also wondered if your anxiety and suicidal thoughts began when you were taking them or when you came off them?
Gabapentin can cause suicidal thoughts in some people and make some people more depressed or hopeless or anxious or restless. Can cause sleep problems.
Gabapentin (Oral Route) Side Effects - Mayo Clinic
Amitriptyline can cause similar to above in some people. It may also cause some people to have increased anxiety, suicidal thoughts and tendencies or to become more depressed.Can cause sleep problems.
Amitriptyline (Oral Route) - Mayo Clinic
I think anxiety about medical issues that we face is always hard, but especially difficult for those of us who are driven to perform. Everyone gets anxious from time to time. It's the way our bodies work. However, for some of us, there can come a time when our thoughts can become a little "disordered" and then the motivating and more positive aspects of a little "healthy" anxiety becomes something that is dragging us down and changing our lives in a negative way.
Reading what Atticus wrote there is quite astounding to me and I'm sorry you had to go through that, Atticus. It's exactly what I was trying to explain recently on another thread in Anxiety forum. For people, and especially athletes who are so driven that when they do hit a medical road block or show they are vulnerable and not superhuman, it's very difficult to deal with and others like family and friends (club mates) just don't always understand.
tomhe,
To me, reading your posts, the most important problems going on for you in this moment are your anxiety and your "almost" suicidal thoughts. On that note, if you feel that way and need help please reach out to someone you trust who can spend time with you until you feel better and are able to make practical steps in the way of treatment or support.
fromhttp://metanoia.org/suicide/
"Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain." It is imperative that if you having these thoughts then you need to do two things immediately. One is to find a way to reduce the pain and the other is to find a way to increase your coping resources. We can only do those things by asking for help.
Please talk to your doctor for a referral to see someone for "talk therapy" as caroline mentioned. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is extremely helpful and it doesn't have to be for long periods of time and can help us out of very deep holes. The support is very beneficial.
Psychologists can teach us different ways to deal with our thoughts. Most of us with serious anxiety issues or depression developed certain behaviours or thought patterns at a very early age that are not always the best ways to deal with what life throws at us but because they're learned behaviours it feels as if that's all there is. It's not.
I also wanted to let you both know that there is a Peripheral Neuropathy Forum here and is worth reading the sticky posts at the top. There's a wealth of information after years and years of people dealing with similar pain and other symptoms.
https://www.neurotalk.org/peripheral-neuropathy/
Peripheral Neuropathy Forum
https://www.neurotalk.org/pn-tips-re...-treatments/PN
Tips, Resources, Supplements & Other Treatments
Be kind to yourself. It's time to heal and recover and get through this. It's not the time for a long walk that causes so much pain or a marathon effort in the yard. It's time to be kind and calm and let your body heal.