Oh, had a nice time last night, but made an *** out of myself. I got drunk.

I feel like such an idiot. I am not making excuses, but they upped my oxy, and I was finally feeling good and excited about getting out, and I screwed up. Long Island Iced Tea's, woohoo they are strong. Yet, I ate really well, we got a bunch of appetizers and entree's.

Have to call my girlfriend today that we went to dinner with her and her husband that don't drink at all, I hope she understands. Plus my other girlfriend works there. I want to crawl into a hole.

It started over a stupid bugs, we were sitting outside at the Irish Pub,I got pissy, the waitress was upset, I started about not paying the bill. Oh, I hate myself, then I felt sick.

I guess Dirk is mad at me, yeah he must be. I haven't had anything to drink in awhile and it hit me bad. He drinks beer.

I never drink at home or during the week or weekends, unless I go out, but I never got like I did.

How could I lose it so badly.

I should know better. Feel crappy, got home early enough, now I can't sleep, my mind is beating myself up for good reason.

Sorry, needed to vent.

P.S. My divorce will be final August 6th.

Hugs the IDIOT Nikko

Will crawl back in bed with the covers over my head and Thank God for my Dogs who love me unconditionally. I am so embarrassed.