i woke up again this morning wishing i were dead but then it passed. then i wished i would live.i am so irritable. i am still deeply disturbed by my fight with stella. yesterday i got annoyed with marci whom i keep on telling each time to get the vaccine. she wears a mask inside and a double mask outside. last week i gave her a half chicken cooked and instead saying thank you she said it better be good. then i said i was saving her money. then she said she has a lot of food so i wasn't saving her money. this week i asked about the chicken and she said it was all right. this week i gave her more chicken this week and again she said it better be good.
i got so furious and said you can always throw it out. it is good kosher chicken. being vengeful i decided i won't give her anymore because she really upset me with her attitude. do you blame me or is it my bipolar?
she also asked for socks and then she said later she would give 2.50. i said no just wash them. i have given her so many things.
on the good news i signed up for a course on psalms at dorot. they are good for those who suffer. surprise surprise pudge is back on the bed and aby was head bumping me last night.
i ate two pints of ice cream and a pie yesterday. i have to stop binging.
i bought a sun lamp to help with depression. i finally didn't have a stomach ache last night. today i had some oat bran.
i am irritated by the stock market. i have been practically all out of it and i am so sure it will keep on going up but i can't afford to lose money. i am reading foreign affairs and enjoying it. i stopped buying clothes from ebay
love
bobby