Welcome, DesiBear--

Studies have been done showing that spinal fusion surgery is often unnecessary. I myself have questions about any spinal surgery although there are surely times when it is essential and improves a person's life.

I've known too many people who have had spinal surgery and come out with worse problems than before.

Any surgery is a trauma. If you can possibly avoid subjecting yourself to an invasive procedure that will be traumatic for you, by all means skip the suggested surgery.

A good question to ask a doctor who suggests surgery is: "What will happen if I don't have this surgery?"

Since you mention that 3 surgeons have advised not having surgery, why not go with that advice? It sounds as if you're managing to get along in spite of the symptoms.

Your children are young only once, and why not enjoy their childhood and wait and see? Myelomalacia can be quite serious but if 3 surgeons advise against surgery, and you surely don't want to put yourself through that whole experience if you don't have to, I'd say there's a lot to be said for watchful waiting.