last night i talked for an hour with sam, my volunteer and the time flew by.
I told him to get to a Rabbi who is old and wise and who could help free him get rid of his guilt about his bipolar2 mother. He does go to weekly therapy. He really knows how bad bipolar 2 is and he told me I should feel so proud of myself for dealing with it and I told him I couldn't. I told him that my therapist told that me that honoring your parents only meant for giving you life. oops I looked later
looked on the internet and couldn't find it. I found this Hebrew Bible

Dishonouring parents by striking or cursing them was punishable by death and so the clause "so that you may live long" could be interpreted as "so that you are not put to death". In the Talmud, the commandment to honour one's human parents is compared to honoring God. It had freed me from guilt .when he told me. I hope he didn't make it up so I would feel better. I do say many many times The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
I sent Sam great jokes I get from Zeynep and will continue. He read a lot outloud of the Declaration of Independence.. I have to read it again. It really is so great. He said he would call on tuesday, his regular time. He sounds so high and happy and he complimented me that that talking to me does it. We laugh a lot.
We talked about our hebrew names, I think his means He hears all. I can't spell it. He asked if I were religious and said no just a spiritual Jew. I have never go to services except when I was little and don't go to a temple. Although I wanr to be buried in the Orthodox with no service, just have my body washed and buried in a pine coffin, I told him I would never kill myself because I am so terrified of God.

i goofed i bought a different Amazon kcups coffee. too bitter. They were half the price. what a waste.. I just ordered the morning blend.
Ate too much yesterday. Rats. Scary. Makes my walking so bad from the weight gain. I am going to ask for topamax. I don't know if she will give it to me.
love
bobby