i am so glad you are praying and listening to music. I think you need another husband or just control yourself and look at his positives.
Can you afford a housekeeper and maybe start going to a gym. That would be so neat. WE really care. We know how rough it is to be bipolar especially when meds don't work. I really love listening to the psalms. I don't know if you do. I have a negative view of spending too much time on the internet. I think it can mess up your brain.
Geodon has really helped my depression and anxiety. Have you ever thought of doing volunteer work. It would be so rewarding.
bobby