i never tried the x files. i will try it out. i don't like violence. i tried the good wife but the main character really irritated me. i did love one pbs series years ago but can't remember the name. there was another science fiction that i loved and the lead i think had white hair. i would watch that again if i could only find it. I still watch way too much news and so worried we are going to lose our democracy.
i don't feel well. i have ibs c and my stomach is usually always bothering me.
i haven't been lucky with medication. they have tried so many things on me and they don't w.ork. the last two tries made things much worse. now i am afraid to change or add anything new.i speak to my new psychiatrist on Tuesday and will ask for the klonopin and aplenzin. i can't remember why i am not on a mood stabilizer.i have tried some. i recently tried geodon and i thought i found the magic pill. i felt wonderful, slept well and was in control. I realized how awful my bipolar 2 makes me feel and interfered with my functioning. sure enough it just worked temporarily and then i had a terrible reaction. i tried another antidepressant pristiq that was supposed to help me sleep but instead made it impossible for me to get any sleep..
You are right why i am so frightened. i loved playing racquet sports and of course my dogs and cats but i have mostly negative memories. i am an introvert and feel so isolated. i really made some bad choices with men and friends. i was raised as a very little girl to be a caretaker and was never nurtured or taught to take care of myself.
I really am finally getting help now. I like my two new therapists. i really like my caseworker. i have two young,late twenties volunteer guys who call me and a rabbinical intern.
When my friend Suri was alive i felt so much better. we always talked about God and i felt close to him. now it is hard. she fought breast cancer for three and a half years and died at 60. We never talked about death.
that is when i got ibs right after she died.
i think about death a lot but am too terrified of God to do anything about it.
My p.t. is working and i am positive i will not need a walker.
fondly,
bobby