Hiiiiiii!

Don't let that exclamation fool you. Im still an anxious and depressed wreck! The weather change helps but the last few days have been cooler again. Im struggling to focus my thoughts, focus on being productive, and i still want to sleep most of the afternoon. I have to force myself out of bed to do unwanted chores. I ache a lot physically. I'm just not happy...on the other hand, i want to be thankful for the refreshing shower today (most days i hate to shower), my comfy bed, and...trying to think of a third thing. I really ought to make a gratitude journal, because my depression has gotten me whining so much that i don't even want to be on this Earth i make life seem so bad. I am worried of being alone. I should be grateful im not right now. Even if i have no children or anyone to take care of me when im old, at least i have someone now...and i shouldnt worry about the future, right? Ughh! Im seriously scared and crying, but damn that shower felt good, so i should start singing praises to God for all the blessings i have right now. Including you folks <3