It's all been quite depressing. I thought I was making a bit of progress as most of my pain in legs and feet is gone and only the pins and needles but now I realize it is because and feet and lower legs are just numb and nerves are dead. I only have pain remaining in my left hand but my finger tips are completely numb too. My head never cleared and I am still in a fog with bouts of dizziness. I never came close to suicide but I sure thought about it much, not that I wanted to die but I just didn't want to live, especially like a cripple and the self hatred of knowing I did it to myself. Through it all I never craved a drink but rather cursed it. Anyway, I finally reached out for help and although I did not mention the neuropathy or alcoholism as it is all too embarrassing and humiliating so rather I just said that I was very depressed and anxious due to life and all the **** thrown at me that I can't control. I was put on EFFEXOR, felt like total ****, dose dropped down and still felt like death with horrific ringing in my ear so I took myself off. F that. I recently picked myself back up, started "walking" if that is what you can even call it, and started eating better. I just called a podiatrist who does the laser treatments and am set up for a consult for that. I was surprised that it was quite reasonable. If you pay upfront for six sessions they are only $40 a piece. Even on my below poverty income I can try to save up for. It is suppose to help with neuropathy pain, which I no longer have, but also circulation which def might help me. If I progress even the slightest I will be in wheelchair.
I really don't have much hope but perhaps I can at least stabilize? Ugh, and I still have that crazy buzzing in my ears that is making me insane! Oh lord, please tell me this is not permanent. I was reading up on the drug and apparently sometimes it goes away and sometimes not. It is a rare side effect but it happen and the way everything goes in my world I should have guessed I would be that 1 in a 100. 😢