Thanks Jean for your encouragement and congrats to you! My expectations are very low at this point which is good as it will keep me from being disappointed, but still hopeful for stabilization and even some measure of improvement though certainly not expecting anything near a miracle. One thing I am VERY grateful is that I have absolutely no desire/compulsion to drink. I have tried hundreds of times to quit and could only go a few days while white knuckling the whole time before I went out for relief from the torture but this time it was so very different, like a switch turned off. (I did quit for 13 years but only after rehab and then time in a half way house). I never I thought I could quit again nevermind on my own but I believe I have. My issue this time has been I had no accountability as I am completely alone now and no one knows how I struggle. Before I had a husband and young children. God and you all will need be my accountability. Also I know that despite all, my children love and need me still. (Just like a typical alcoholic I am very sly and do an amazing job of hiding my disease from all). The only positive that I can feel just not is my self confidence is slowly coming back and while I have many regrets, I tell myself that sometimes it takes what takes. I am grateful for my blooming sobriety, I am alive and doing the best I can.