i would never kill myself because i am terrified of God. I can't stand it when i wish i were dead. i read quotes from s the bible every day that are sent to me. i really should start reading the psalms again because they deal with suffering.
last night it was so bad.
I am also very worried about money. guess what i just bought three pairs of shoes from ebay. the shoes i have only been wearing i think have stretched out so maybe one of what i bought will work.
aby has been very affectionate this morning. aby and pudge are another deterrent.
i have been tormenting myself that i can't afford to buy Danny food that he loves more than hamburger. i discussed a lot with my therapist and kept on calling myself crazy. finally she convinced me to to write him that i would love to buy the food but i can only afford the hamburger.