he didn't email or call. it is very upsetting. i depend on him too much. i work up as usual severely depressed. my stomach hurts. i had very bad thoughts. i just took a bath and brushed my teeth. just made coffee. still feel as if i have to go. i entered the password again to see if the kindle would work and it didn't. just took the new supplement and hope it still works and gives me more energy.
i have so many books and still buying more. yesterday i was reading a book i know i have read before. I have an incredible amount of books i haven't read yet.
looking forward to having my hair cut on wednesday.
a weird thing happened yesterday. a few weeks after my mother died kathy called me and said how upset she was because a friend lost i forgot somebody. i said how sad it was. i asked questions. it turned out he still had children and was close to his family. i felt so much anger and pain. I HAD NOBODY. she can be so insensitive..
yesterday she mentioned how a dear friend just died. i said how sorry i was. then i said i am still mourning my Rabbi, the only holy man i ever met. she immediately said i don't want to hear about that because my friend just died. I said he also helped keep me stable. Interesting.
love you,
bobby