Hi again. I was actually thinking more about the situation overnight. (I'm on diff. timezone in Australia).

It's a shame they have such a communication problem there.
I think if it was me (and I've thought about this a lot because of close family history of relatives who have developed Alzheimer's Disease) then I'd want to know as early as possible.

Surely their doctor must have some responsiblity in all this. Maybe he's not aware of this lack of communciation and lack of care that's going on. Maybe your friend's mother has been coping all right for so long in her life that her son thinks everything is going to continue that way.

When I was reading some sites last night for you, I saw a lot of mention of such better quality of life if everyone can get organized early as possible.

My thoughts are with you. Tough situation. If you can't contact any other relatives of your friend to discuss your concerns with then maybe you need to take more drastic measures like contact community services in your area for advice or even talk to your own Doctor and ask her/him what can be done in the situation.

I'd probably do that first.

btw,
I do know that my old auntie lived on her own for a while after being diagnosed and she did very well with regular visitors checking on her and doing certain chores and shopping etc., but that was in the very beginning and she was doing alright for a while. Then as she deteriorated of course, that was no longer possible so she lived with her daughter for ages until her decline progressed too far and that was around the same time that her daughter burned out from exhaustion.

My auntie's mother, [my grandmother on my father's side], also had Alzheimer's and she lived at home with her daughter and the family for years and years until her death. Both of them always had someone around checking on them and making sure that they were still able to live safely and not leave stoves on or wander off and become lost, and they were certainly able to do that for a while very safely, but they weren't also caring for their spouse who was already ill themselves... like your friend's mother and father situation. Eating was a big problem I remember. Forgetting to actually eat and care for themselves properly. Hygiene etc. Fortunately they had relatives who cared who could do all that, otherwise it would have needed to be community workers or carers doing all of that.