I appreciate your asking, applesap...

It's been a rough past couple of weeks for me, but I'm holding on to the hope that I'll come barreling out of this bad space like I've done so many times in the past. It's just hard, and my patience is wearing thin (of course, I don't fault myself for this, 4+ years is a long time to be sick). The advent of these social networking sites like myspace and facebook have allowed me to keep tabs on all of the friends that I had before this happened, and it's just exceedingly difficult to see everyone I was going to college with buying nice cars, getting married and/or dating loose women, going out 3 nights a week, and all the rest while I've basically been on house arrest for years now unable to do anything. And you know, a few of these guys I knew had 5, 10, 15 concussions during their lives, some of them serious, and they're all doing just fine now. I only had one minor concussion, and if god's ever going to give me a second chance, he's certainly taking his sweet *** time getting around to it. I just recently saw an old friend of mine who was hit by a drunk driver a little less than a month before I had my concussion, which left him in a coma for 2 months, and he's doing a whole hell of a lot better than I am at this point. I mean... this whole thing, it goes well beyond life being unfair. This condition is just downright cruel. If I don't get out of this I'm going to request to be buried with a baseball bat so I'll have something to hit god in the shins with.

Certainly my tone has soured a bit since I was last writing on here a lot, but at that time I was having a lot of really great changes happening, so I was very excited about the fact that I could feel this whole mess coming to a close. Unfortunately, it seems as though the therapies that had been working for me have plateaued, leaving me far better off than I was before I had those therapies, but still in a place that even the most staunch optimist would deem unacceptable. I'm researching new therapies now, so maybe someday soon I'll find something that will work for me again, but until then I'm probably going to be a few shades short of pure sunshine.

I think my situation is a little bit different than most of the folks on here in the first place, though I wouldn't venture to say whether it's at all better or worse. For all intents and purposes, my brain is functioning an awful lot like it used to before my fall, but I have all of this chronic pain in my head that just drives me absolutely nuts. It's not a common thing with PCS, but I also have PTSD from my fall, which has left a trail of pain through my body that just will not go away. That's why at this point I'm directing most of my therapy-related attention (with the exception of craniosacral work) to my psyche instead of my brain. I'm still holding out hope that if I can get that PTSD resolved, the whole trauma will just slide off like a bathrobe in a poorly produced porno. If that never happens though, I really don't know what I'm going to do. I won't get into the impact the PTSD has had on my life, as this note is depressing enough as is.

So yeah, to succinctly answer your question (though that's kind of a lost cause at this point) I'm basically just where I've always been for the past 6 months or so: I've been a lot worse, but I've been a lot better.