I just want to second all that others have written in this thread.

I went through sadness and depression too, especially mourning the loss of being able to backpack or jog (or even walk very well), and being alone with an invisible painful illness. My doctors at the time thought there was nothing wrong with my pink warm feet with a strong pulse. None even gave a neurological screening. They dismissed the extreme burning, stabbing, throbbing pain as "anxiety". Two suggested tranquilizers or psychotherapy. Besides being depressed, I wanted to throttle those three miserable excuses for physicians.

Now, 14 years later, I love and enjoy life, even the painful days and painful moments, and even through pneumonia and a cancer scare last year. Hang in there and learn what you can. At least for me, knowledge empowered me to take charge of my own health, using physicians as they serve my needs.That feeling of being in control, and accepting my illness made all the difference. I agree you're lucky to have a loving supportive spouse, as I do.

Do you have cats or dogs? Last year I had pneumonia, and a cancer cell showed up in a lung biopsy. During the pneumonia my two wonderful cats were always hanging out with me as I slept all day, or hobbled around. They demanded nothing, just to be with me in companionship as I was slowly (I thought) dying. If you're not allergic, a good cat is a treasure and a dear companion...not a pet. You can't dominate a cat, and they don't try to dominate you. But if you treat them right, they adore you. Ill or healthy, young or old, beautiful or ugly, man or woman makes no difference to them. They respond to what's in your heart and who you are with them.

Hang in there. Learn about your illness and how to powerfully cope, act on what you learn and things will be much better. That's a promise. A good place to learn is our "Stickies" section. Skim or read through the threads. The topic often changes and just what you need might be well down the thread that started out about something with little application to you.