My daughter (adopted, bipolar) is 9 years old, and I'm totally failing her. I just don't know what to do. She took up lying just recently, and starting today she's "decided" to start cursing. For the past year she's been stealing like crazy, no matter what punishment we give.
I've recently come to realize that I micro-manage her life. She's suffered so much, that I try too hard for her not to have hard knocks. I know now that she will have to, as that's part of living. It's just that kids can be so cruel ... you know.
Thing is, my trying to prevent heart-ache has totally back-fired. She doesn't understand anything, and she's become - for lack of a better word - a total brat. Although I NEVER give in to these, she has learned to throw tantrums, etc., NOT to get her way but attention. All we do is give her attention, to the point that the neighborhood kids know me and play alongside us both, so it isn't like she doesn't get attention.
Anybody who didn't know us well would certainly presume that either I have no character or have not tried to instill values in her, but I do! When she's 'okay,' or often more-like manipulating, she turns on the charm. She does things exactly as I've taught her. But when she's having one of her bad days, we tell her no, or we turn our back, she's doing every trick in the book.
I'm painting her as some terrible child, and really, she isn't. If you met her, most likely the word "sweet" would definitely come up. I'm not blaming her; I'm blaming me. Somewhere along the lines, I messed up, and now I don't know how to regain control.
HOW do I know when it's bipolar, or when it's being a brat? Can bipolar disguise itself as brat-like behavior? The doctor stated that, while they might not be able to control their emotions, bipolars do have the ability to choose right from wrong. So why does mine insist on wrong?
Please feel free to post on here or write me. Don't be afraid to make me mad, as long as it truly is constructive ANSWERS. I don't want to continue allowing her to act this way; it will make for a much more miserable child.